A series of studies by Columbia University's Carol Dweck shows .... that when people believe they are born with natural and unchangeable smarts ... [they] learn less over time. They don't bother to keep learning new things.
People who believe that intelligence is malleable keep getting smarter and more skilled ... and are willing to do new things.
That's a pretty important fact. It's also an excellent example of how your success is determined by your beliefs/mindset/frame. If you believe that you can't get smarter, you won't!
I searched around a bit and found another interesting quote:
...beliefs about the nature of intelligence have a significant impact on the way they approach challenging intellectual tasks: Students who view their intelligence as an unchangeable internal characteristic tend to shy away from academic challenges, whereas students who believe that their intelligence can be increased through effort and persistence seek them out.
Students who hold an "entity" theory of intelligence agree with statements such as "Your intelligence is something about you that you can't change very much." Since they believe their intelligence is fixed, these students place high value on success. They worry that failure-or even having to work very hard at something-will be perceived as evidence of their low intelligence. Therefore, they make academic choices that maximize the possibility that they will perform well. For example, a student may opt to take a lower-level course because it will be easier to earn an A. In contrast, students who have an "incremental" theory of intelligence are not threatened by failure. Because they believe that their intelligence can be increased through effort and persistence, these students set mastery goals and seek academic challenges that they believe will help them to grow intellectually.
Not only does a belief in fixed intelligence prevent learning, it also makes people more risk averse! It's easy to see how some cultures or micro-cultures make people successful, while others keep them mired in failure.
I expect that this same basic principle applies to most things, whether it's skills with computers or skills with people. Obviously "nature" plays some role, but beliefs, knowledge, and determination are usually more important. Furthermore, I suspect that you can learn to enjoy these activities, and that finding the fun is the key to mastering the skill.